JAPAN HAS JUST MELTED

It’s official: The Japan Meteorological Agency has confirmed that Japan just survived (barely) its hottest summer on record. The national average temperature from June to August came in at a sweaty 2.36°C above the norm.

That may not sound like much, but trust me, in meteorology it's colossal.

And this wasn’t a one-off. This comes hot (pun 100% intended) on the heels of the previous hottest summers of 2024 and 2023. Japan is now on a three-year winning streak in the "World Sauna Championships."

Tokyo clocked more than 23 days above 35°C during the three-month period. That's 23 days of being roasted alive, and yet some people here still dressed as if they were going to a job interview with the Emperor.

Meanwhile, in Switzerland or the UK, a single 35°C day triggers a national crisis, garden hoses are outlawed, and newspapers run front-page think pieces titled “Is This the End of Civilization?”.

But what really pushed up the summer average isn't the daytime heat, it's the consistency throughout the day, including the nights. Tropical nights, to be precise. Out of 62 summer nights in July/August, only 4 dipped below 25°C. That's right – four.

For comparison, in the UK or Switzerland, the tropical night threshold is 20°C. Which means even during a “heat wave,” Brits toss and turn dramatically, claiming they “couldn’t sleep a wink,” while it’s actually 18°C with a light breeze. Meanwhile, in Tokyo, at 2 a.m. it’s 29°C with 90% humidity, and the only thing that lets you sleep – and keeps you alive – is the aircon whirring at full throttle.

So, it's fair to say that the standards differ quite significantly.

That also goes for how people react to the sunshine and the heat.

In Switzerland or Britain, the moment the sun comes out, shirts come off. A 21°C afternoon in London is enough to transform every park into a nudist colony with extra beer. Pale torsos, questionable tattoos, and enough sunburn to fuel the after-sun lotion industry for months. Basically, you get the sense that Northern Europeans are trying to absorb all the vitamin D they’ve been deprived of since the 1980s.

No wonder folks are feel drawn to Southern Europe for their annual summer holidays like moths to the light. Because that's the only way to ensure guaranteed heat and sunshine.

At least until now. Climate change means that being stuck in queues on the motorway traversing the Alps, or having to put up with delayed or overbooked Easy Jet flights on the way to their sunny destination may soon be a thing of the past.

Because the summer of '25 was also the hottest in Britain, sporting no fewer than four individual heat waves. Switzerland had two: One just before the school holidays, and one right after. This has left school officials scratching their heads: should they invest in air conditioning, or let the school calendar be dictated by the whims of the sun?

And in Japan?

Summer weather has always been more dependable here, so there was never a rush to fly off to exotic destinations just for sun. But the irony is that here, pale skin is prized, and a sunbeam is basically a supervillain. Forget bikinis or shirtless beer bellies – you'll see people wielding parasols, women sporting long arm sleeves in the blazing sun, and cyclists wearing visors so dark they look ready to command a stealth drone in a sci-fi thriller.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more creative… enter the Darth Vader look.

Yes, the latest hottest fashion (literally) is a face-covering shield that transforms its wearer into an extra from Star Wars roaming your local neighbourhood. You’ll see them gliding down the street on bicycles, mini fan in one hand, visor locked in place, silently radiating the energy of someone who’s just won a silent battle against UV exposure.

So while Brits are busy roasting themselves to lobster-red in Hyde Park, Japan has effectively turned into a nation of undercover superheroes fighting the evil forces of sunlight.

Thankfully, in the last few days, things have finally cooled down. But the next summer will be waiting just around the corner. Perhaps a fourth record summer in a row, who knows?