BETWEEN PUMPKINS AND SABRES

Halloween is firmly behind us, and the ghostly costumes and plastic pumpkins are packed away. And now – in countries like Switzerland and Japan, where Thanksgiving doesn't exist to provide a buffer – nothing stands between us and the overwhelming, glittery dominance of Christmas.

Well, almost nothing. First, we must navigate that seasonal no-man’s-land where society collectively debates: Is it socially acceptable to play Mariah Carey already?

My answer: Yes.

Japan's answer: Absolutely yes.

Switzerland pretends to say no, but secretly hums Last Christmas in supermarkets by November 3.

But back to Halloween: Interestingly, both Switzerland and Japan adopted Halloween in the early nineties, completely independently deciding: Yes. We too would like an enormous, secular excuse to dress as a sexy vampire.

And adopt it we did. In Switzerland, pumpkin sales went from a charming 230 tonnes in 1991 to 10,000 tonnes by 2000. That is not cultural adaptation – that is a pumpkin coup d'État.

Meanwhile in Japan, Halloween went full Shibuya cosplay chaos mode, so wildly successful that authorities now warn people to stay away because of public safety concerns, and because the revellers were, let's say, making too much of a nuisance of themselves.

Both Switzerland and Japan embraced Halloween in their own way, but with one thing in common: No trick-or-treating. In Japan, it was politely rejected because of the deep-seated cultural value of avoiding inconvenience to one's neighbours. In Switzerland, it’s frowned upon because of its strong emphasis on privacy. And also, anyone knocking on your door without invitation? Scandalous.

But let's pause here for a moment, because it needs to be said that Switzerland has some, let's say, rather unique festive habits.

Japan often gets the spotlight for quirky traditions – Valentine’s chocolate hierarchies, or Kentucky Fried Chicken at Christmas.

But Switzerland? Oh, Switzerland competes in the Champions League of “Sorry, come again?”

Allow me to present three absolutely real Swiss traditions that make Shibuya Halloween look like a kindergarten cupcake sale.

🪓 1. Beheading a Goose in Public

The unwary traveller will get a shock passing through the central Swiss town of Sursee on November 11, St Martin's Day.

On a stage in front of the town hall, a dead goose hangs from a wire. Lots are drawn among those interested in taking a swing at the bird with an antique cavalry sabre. Clad in a red cloak, a blindfold and a golden mask shaped like the sun, they try their luck one by one.

Between rounds of "Cutting the goose loose", which is said to have its origins in the Middle Ages, children get a piece of cheese for making silly faces, and the braver ones climb a pole to fetch a present from a tree.

In case you're wondering: This is not a Swiss version of Thanksgiving and has completely different roots. The involvement of poultry is pretty much where the similarities end.

🚬 2. Six-Year-Olds Legally Smoking

Another eyebrow-raising tradition takes place in Appenzell in eastern Switzerland at the end of winter. On the fourth Sunday of Lent, visitors to the cow shows will be amazed not only by the ornately decorated bovine headdresses, but by children as young as six legally puffing away on cigarettes, cigars and pipes.

It's unclear where the tradition of so-called "Spark Sunday" comes from, and it's arguably a paradox in a time when smoking is being banned in more and more places.

Elsewhere in the world: “Smoking is harmful!” Switzerland: “Look how adorable little Felix looks with his Havana.”

No wonder Swiss pensioners are so tough – they’ve been training since kindergarten.

🎭 3. Ash Wednesday: The Soot-Smearing Ritual

Looking for the least politically correct custom in the world? A strong contender must be the "Pschuuri" Ash Wednesday festival in eastern Switzerland, in which masked men pin down young women and force them to wear blackface – by smearing them with soot. It's an important part of carnival in Splügen, a village near the Italian border, and has been happening since the 14th century.

It’s festive, it’s historical, and it’s wildly inappropriate.

So, what have we learnt?

Both Switzerland and Japan are in the habit of importing American holidays, but tweaking them to suit their own culture. And while Japan organises huge costume events and is responsible for KFC Christmas chicken mania, Switzerland casually engages in medieval goose duelling, child smoking and soot-smearing.

And yes, it's never too early to play Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas...