A TALE OF 2 ORDERLY NATIONS - Part 1

At first glance, Switzerland and Japan seem like long-lost cousins – both obsessively clean, absurdly punctual, and so devoted to their train schedules that make the rest of the world feel a twinge of envy. But dig a little deeper, and you’ll find that beneath their polished efficiency lies a delightful clash of logic, tradition, and quirks that make their differences as entertaining as their similarities.

🏳️ Flags: Minimalist and Bold

Let’s start with the flags, the visual signature of a nation.

• Switzerland has a red flag with a white cross, instantly recognisable and one of the few square national flags in the world. Because why settle for a rectangle like everyone else when you can literally shape your nation’s identity with Swiss precision? It’s not just a flag – it’s a perfectly balanced, geometrical statement of individuality.But beware – mix up the Swiss white cross on red with red cross on white, and congratulations, you’ve just summoned the International Red Cross! Not technically wrong, considering it was founded in Switzerland, but not quite the patriotic statement you were aiming for.

  And while we’re on the topic of confusion – please, for the love of cheese, do not mistake Switzerland for Sweden. It happens far more often than it should, and aside from a shared first letter, there’s not much connecting them. Making that mistake in Switzerland might earn you a disappointed shake of the head – the Swiss equivalent to full-on national disgrace.

• Japan? White background, red circle. Clean, elegant, and a constant reminder that the sun does, in fact, rise over Japan... and yes, before anyone wonders, it does eventually set.But in contrast to Switzerland, don't expect to see it (the flag, not the sun!) fluttering proudly in people's gardens, hanging from balconies, or stitched onto hiking gear. Japan treats its flag like a VIP guest at a very exclusive event – it appears only on special occasions, displayed with careful respect, as if excessive exposure would diminish its mystique. Because in Japan, the national flag is not a fashion statement or a brand – it's a dignified symbol, rolled out sparingly to maintain its prestige.

🌍 Immaculate Cleanliness: The Rules of a Spotless Society

Litter? Not in these two countries! Switzerland and Japan are pristine beyond reason, but they take different approaches to maintaining the spotless illusion:

• Japan: Public trash can? A mythical concept. You bought a snack? Well, you're now in a committed relationship with its wrapper for the foreseeable future. Your best hope is stumbling upon the hidden recycling station inside a convenience store, or otherwise it will accompany you for eternity – or at the very least to your home.

• Switzerland: You can throw things away, but it’ll cost you – trash bags are government-approved, price-tagged, and expensive enough to make even the most reckless litterer reconsider their life choices.

The result? Spotless streets in both countries, and slightly traumatised residents. Then again, as my recent Blog Post reveals – even Japan isn't always quite as spotless as we would wish it to be...

⏱ Public Transport Perfection: Worship the Timetable

Swiss trains run like precision instruments, and Japanese trains are so punctual they could dictate the official schedule of the universe itself – down to the second (with an apology if they’re 0.2 seconds late).

• If your train is late in Switzerland, something catastrophic has happened – possibly involving geological shifts.

• If your train is late in Japan, the conductor apologises profusely, announcements are made, and the rail company considers offering refunds for the emotional distress caused by a 30-second delay.

In both countries, punctuality is akin to being enshrined in law; if your train is late in either place, it's probably because the space-time continuum has collapsed.

🚄 Love for Trains: Speed vs Scenery

Switzerland and Japan might as well worship their rail systems, but their approaches to train culture couldn’t be more different.

• In Japan, speed, technology and precision timing take centre stage, making passengers on a high-speed bullet train wonder whether they're being teleported rather than transported. Forget the mundane experience of watching the scenery pass by – on a Shinkansen, you barely have time to register the landscape before it blurs into oblivion.

• In Switzerland, trains are a scenic masterpiece, rolling through landscapes that make you question whether you've accidentally landed in a postcard. But hold on – Switzerland and the UK have just agreed on a high-speed rail link that will let travellers zoom from London to Basel, Geneva, and Zurich in under five hours. Soon, unsuspecting British passengers will enter Switzerland so quickly, they won’t even have time to brace themselves for the existential crisis of paying £20 for a basic sandwich.

Two countries sharing a love for efficiency – one with meticulously square charm, the other with radiant sunlit elegance.